When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
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