CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
