TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Randomize
