Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Randomize
