ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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