Are we in a gay sports bar?
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
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