im about as happy as oj after his trial
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
