we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
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