i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
if only i could text you this smell
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize