Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
