We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
