We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Randomize
