This girl is more easily done than said...
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
