Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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