Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
