Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Randomize
