I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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