ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize