I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
