I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
