Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
