I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
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