Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
