i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
