there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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