I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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