I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I supernannyed him into submission
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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