How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Randomize
