Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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