she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Randomize
