I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
