did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
