i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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