Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
