Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
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