4 words: hood of his car
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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