Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
