apparently the secret to your success is patron
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
