i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
zippers are such a cool invention
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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