trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
