I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
