Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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