just tell him i said nine months
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
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