how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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