So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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