I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
