IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
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