If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
