hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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