We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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