Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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