You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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