I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
