so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I want to make a zoo with you.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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