did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
