but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize
