Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Randomize