We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Randomize
