I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I need to align my fucking chakras
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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