OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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